a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen: Archive

a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen

February 2012

“They wouldn’t let me wear bike shorts and a fanny pack to this.”

– Tina Fey on the red carpet (via awkwardbutaccurate)

so when i look in my phone i find two sound...

one is of me and some friends talking about how this one girl’s boobs are really weird and spread apart another is me and my cousin singing Jar of Hearts a cappella except we sound like we’re high i don’t remember recording this stuff

i would never call someone a cunt

but tonight seems to be the night

banteratbest: You can’t surprise that woman.